Welcome to my new (old) blog! Struck by sudden inspiration, and the realization that I spend more hours a week surfing the interwebs than I do sleeping, I figured I might as well put that time to good use honing the skills I developed in Grade 9 typing class. I decided to track down my old site and fire it back up. I like to think of it as "vintage", which is a word that makes pretty much anything that's past its best before date sound cool, but really I'm just too lazy to start another one. After finding the blog site and logging on, the following thought processes took place:
I remembered how my late night TV host boyfriend Craig Ferguson once said that if you are going to say (or write) something, you should ask yourself 3 questions:
1) Does this need to be said?
2) Does this need to be said by me?
3) Does this need to be said by me right now?
When debating whether or not I should start writing this blog, I asked myself those very questions and came up with these answers:
1)Not really.
2)Why not?
3)I'm not doing anything else at the moment.
After some serious reflection on these answers I knew it was a done deal. My future career as a blogger was calling to me. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before I encountered my first obstacle: Coming up with an un-stupid title.
So I'm just going to come right out and say this, before the 3 people who ever read this point it out to me: This blog's original name is totally lame town. (For a moment I toyed with the idea of calling it Lame Town). So I decided my vintage blog needed a new look and a snazzy new name. The look was easy. I selected the "simple" layout from the design section, mainly because that's likely the best word to describe who my readers will be, so that bit was done. But what to do about the name.....
5 years ago I clearly thought that "Some Brilliant Thoughts from a Random Mind" was clever and creative, but at this point in my life my level of sophistication is at an all-time high (as evidenced by my entertaining the notion of calling the blog "Lame Town")and so I decided it needed something cleverer and creativer.
I tried to come up with some titles on my own, but that proved tedious and only made me feel stupid, since all I could come up with was "Lame Town", and that was only because Holly had used the phrase in a Facebook Chat conversation 12 seconds prior. Now not only did I have Blog Title block, but I was a plagiarizer.
I had some other ideas after that. My first one was to steal a ridiculous phrase from a ridiculous celebrity, so that people who google searched said pop culture train wrecks would find themselves suddenly reading my genius commentary on the state of the world, and more specifically, my life. After discarding "It's Britney, B*tch!" and "It Was My Friend's Cocaine" I decided this was not the route to go. By then though, I had stumbled on another idea that would no doubt lead to a popularity explosion of me: Most searched words on Google.
To start this process, I searched "most searched words on Google" on Google. I figured I could tap into the "Stupid People on the Internet" demographic by calling the blog "Facebook" or "Jersey Shore", but then realized that I was still wading in the dangerous waters of Lake Plagiarism and started to reflect on the unfortunate situation of having dumb strangers who can't find Facebook without the use of Google stumbling onto my site. After that, I was pretty much left with "Boobs Sex Porn" which, although there is nothing inherently wrong with any of those things, wasn't the sort of site I was looking to create.
This thought process led to my sudden concern about something else. (I hope you are enjoying the guided tour of my stream of consciousness. If you ever plan to read this again, you'd better get used to it). I began to worry about the fact that, due to the nature of my job (I'm a spy), it might be a bad idea to be plastering my life all over the interwebs for the rest of the world to see. I eventually decided that this was a moot point, mainly since I have no intention of ever posting the name of my workplace, or my last name. These facts combined with my oh-so-unique first name, make it unlikely that anyone who randomly google searches me will find me.
Ultimately, my love of a good competition won out in the end. (That was redundant, wasn't it? I'm pretty sure ultimately means the same thing as in the end, but it's 12:45 in the morning so I don't even care). So, here's where things stand. Because I can't be bothered to come up with a new name for my own blog, my Facebook friends are going to do it for me. The competition will be open until next Friday, as long as I haven't forgotten by then that I even have a blog. So submit away people. I look forward to stealing your creative ideas and pretending they are my own.
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