Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow: An Ode to Procrastination

So originally this post was going to be about how much I love Toronto. I had all these wonderful ideas and observations that I just couldn't WAIT to share with the world after a particularly entertaining Saturday in the city. Of course, once I got home I became distracted by other things, like television and sleeping and doing laundry, and by the time Sunday night had rolled around I thought "I'll do it tomorrow". If there has ever been a phrase that could sum up my life in four words or less, it would be that one.
I'll do it tomorrow.
That sentence has been single-handedly responsible for my years spent as a smoker, my lack of quality time at the gym, and the fact that I still do not have a driver's license with my new address on it, even though I've lived in my apartment for almost a year. There are numerous other examples that I could quote right now, although I think one of my finer moments was the final paper for my Methods of Behavioural Change course in university. We were required to choose one of our own bad habits that we wanted to change, devise a behaviour modification plan, implement it, and write up a final report on our successes or failures. Being foolishly optimistic about changing a habit that I had basically brought with me into the world (I showed up at least two weeks late to MY OWN BIRTH, and even then couldn't be bothered to be born until the doctors said "forget this" and did a c-section to come in and get me) I chose 'Procrastinating' as the bad habit I was going to help myself break. I drew up a fabulous calendar with the various tasks I was required to do each day colour-coded and penciled in at various times. I worked out a reinforcement schedule that allowed me to slowly work up to my ultimate goal, which was essentially to stop going to the bar instead of doing my homework. The first two or three days I proudly checked off all the items I had accomplished, and by the fourth day I decided I had earned one of my rewards, which was going out to the bar. This likely would have worked except that after a week or so I clued into the awesome fact that I didn't actually NEED to wait until I had accomplished 75% of the tasks on my list before rewarding myself. I COULD JUST GO TO THE BAR RIGHT NOW!!!! (I'm sure you know where this is going, but I'm going to tell you anyway). Finally the day before the final report is due rolls around and I realize suddenly that not only have I put off writing the paper, but I didn't actually get around to implementing the plan. And so, at the eleventh hour (it was literally the eleventh hour, it was 11 p.m. when I started writing. Or I guess technically that would be the 23rd hour. Whatever.) I sit down in front of my computer and start trying to figure out how I'm going to explain that I didn't actually change my procrastinating behaviour because I didn't ever get around to doing it. The irony of waiting until the last minute to write my paper about how I didn't want to procrastinate anymore was not lost on me. Anyway, I got an A-. So there.

Although procrastinating has caused me some stress over the years, mainly in relation to school work, it has also helped me develop some other very important skills. Skills such as: being able to alphabetize CD's by artist, or books by author AND title. I am also quite adept at colour coordinating my closet, spontaneously creating resource binders from every article I've ever printed out or received in class, and obtaining all-time high scores in Spider Solitaire. In fact, I'm procrastinating right now. I should be brushing my teeth and going to bed. Bah. I'll do it later.

Ultimately, I have decided to embrace my tendency to procrastinate, not as a character flaw, but as evidence of my superior ability to create/work/problem-solve under pressure. Procrastinating is sort of like challenging time to a contest, if you imagine that I say: "HEY TIME! YOU DON'T THINK THERE'S ENOUGH OF YOU FOR ME TO FINISH THIS PAPER/WORK ASSIGNMENT/SUITCASE PACKING BEFORE IT'S DUE/FRIDAY AFTERNOON/MY PLANE TAKES OFF? I'LL SHOW YOU!" Most of the time I win, except that time I missed my flight from Vancouver, but I'm blaming that mostly on my sister and traffic.

Anyway, the whole point of this blog post was supposed to be about my awesome Saturday that included things like babysitting the cutest kid ever at a lesbian soccer game, discussing the origins of the word 'djinn' with Dave, the guy who sells Outreach magazines on my street every day, finding out that the Tim Horton's down the street got randomly shot at at 5:30 am (I was just relieved that it wasn't the Starbucks next door), explaining to Rachel McAdams the process of voting for the TIFF People's Choice Award and providing her with a ballot on which to do so, and having the surreal experience of walking through downtown at midnight where they had spread fake snow for the set of Sundays at Tiffanys. But never mind that now. The moment has passed.

PS: Since I don't believe in not crediting others for the things I steal off the internet, I'd just like to point out that I did not make the picture at the top of this page. I stole it from http://visualambassador.com. I'm ok with procrastinating, but not with plagiarism. Always cite your sources, kids.

To Blog or Not to Blog....

I just realized after typing that title that this blog has suddenly become an homage to Shakespeare. So I included a picture of him to make it official. In fact, as of right this moment, I have issued a challenge to myself to try and make all of my post titles Shakespearean quotes. Not one to back down from a challenge by anyone, I of course have no choice but to accept. Therefore, all posts will now begin with quotes from Shakespeare's plays. Only the best for this blog, baby.


Soooooo......now what? I couldn't decide whether or not to write another post tonight. I have nothing of value to say, and didn't want to set any unreasonable precedents like I will write a post every day. Because I won't. I think I should aim for once a week. Two posts in a row like this is a bit of an anomaly, but because it's still new and I love novelty, I couldn't resist checking it out again today and messing around some more with the layout. I'm most proud of the feature at the bottom where I have a video bar made up PURELY OF FRENCH AND SAUNDERS SKETCHES. You're welcome people who appreciate British comedy.

So, I don't know if any of you know this, but I'm probably the coolest person in the whole city of Toronto RIGHT NOW. It's Friday night, and I am wearing an old pair of my sister's volleyball shorts and a tank top, sitting on my Ikea couch drinking caffeine-free diet pepsi, watching Step Up 2 on TV, playing country music on my guitar and blogging. I'm also doing laundry and considering running the dishwasher while trying to figure out how many more days I can survive on one garbage bag and one roll of toilet paper because I'm broke with a capital B. Yup. Coolest person EVER. To celebrate my awesomeness, and also the fact that it is finally FRIDAY, I'll leave you with this song.




You're welcome everyone who likes Fridays, and the one crazy loser (ahem, Kim) who likes country.

What's in a Name?

Welcome to my new (old) blog! Struck by sudden inspiration, and the realization that I spend more hours a week surfing the interwebs than I do sleeping, I figured I might as well put that time to good use honing the skills I developed in Grade 9 typing class. I decided to track down my old site and fire it back up. I like to think of it as "vintage", which is a word that makes pretty much anything that's past its best before date sound cool, but really I'm just too lazy to start another one. After finding the blog site and logging on, the following thought processes took place:

I remembered how my late night TV host boyfriend Craig Ferguson once said that if you are going to say (or write) something, you should ask yourself 3 questions:

1) Does this need to be said?
2) Does this need to be said by me?
3) Does this need to be said by me right now?

When debating whether or not I should start writing this blog, I asked myself those very questions and came up with these answers:

1)Not really.
2)Why not?
3)I'm not doing anything else at the moment.

After some serious reflection on these answers I knew it was a done deal. My future career as a blogger was calling to me. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before I encountered my first obstacle: Coming up with an un-stupid title.

So I'm just going to come right out and say this, before the 3 people who ever read this point it out to me: This blog's original name is totally lame town. (For a moment I toyed with the idea of calling it Lame Town). So I decided my vintage blog needed a new look and a snazzy new name. The look was easy. I selected the "simple" layout from the design section, mainly because that's likely the best word to describe who my readers will be, so that bit was done. But what to do about the name.....

5 years ago I clearly thought that "Some Brilliant Thoughts from a Random Mind" was clever and creative, but at this point in my life my level of sophistication is at an all-time high (as evidenced by my entertaining the notion of calling the blog "Lame Town")and so I decided it needed something cleverer and creativer.
I tried to come up with some titles on my own, but that proved tedious and only made me feel stupid, since all I could come up with was "Lame Town", and that was only because Holly had used the phrase in a Facebook Chat conversation 12 seconds prior. Now not only did I have Blog Title block, but I was a plagiarizer.

I had some other ideas after that. My first one was to steal a ridiculous phrase from a ridiculous celebrity, so that people who google searched said pop culture train wrecks would find themselves suddenly reading my genius commentary on the state of the world, and more specifically, my life. After discarding "It's Britney, B*tch!" and "It Was My Friend's Cocaine" I decided this was not the route to go. By then though, I had stumbled on another idea that would no doubt lead to a popularity explosion of me: Most searched words on Google.

To start this process, I searched "most searched words on Google" on Google. I figured I could tap into the "Stupid People on the Internet" demographic by calling the blog "Facebook" or "Jersey Shore", but then realized that I was still wading in the dangerous waters of Lake Plagiarism and started to reflect on the unfortunate situation of having dumb strangers who can't find Facebook without the use of Google stumbling onto my site. After that, I was pretty much left with "Boobs Sex Porn" which, although there is nothing inherently wrong with any of those things, wasn't the sort of site I was looking to create.

This thought process led to my sudden concern about something else. (I hope you are enjoying the guided tour of my stream of consciousness. If you ever plan to read this again, you'd better get used to it). I began to worry about the fact that, due to the nature of my job (I'm a spy), it might be a bad idea to be plastering my life all over the interwebs for the rest of the world to see. I eventually decided that this was a moot point, mainly since I have no intention of ever posting the name of my workplace, or my last name. These facts combined with my oh-so-unique first name, make it unlikely that anyone who randomly google searches me will find me.

Ultimately, my love of a good competition won out in the end. (That was redundant, wasn't it? I'm pretty sure ultimately means the same thing as in the end, but it's 12:45 in the morning so I don't even care). So, here's where things stand. Because I can't be bothered to come up with a new name for my own blog, my Facebook friends are going to do it for me. The competition will be open until next Friday, as long as I haven't forgotten by then that I even have a blog. So submit away people. I look forward to stealing your creative ideas and pretending they are my own.