So originally this post was going to be about how much I love Toronto. I had all these wonderful ideas and observations that I just couldn't WAIT to share with the world after a particularly entertaining Saturday in the city. Of course, once I got home I became distracted by other things, like television and sleeping and doing laundry, and by the time Sunday night had rolled around I thought "I'll do it tomorrow". If there has ever been a phrase that could sum up my life in four words or less, it would be that one.
I'll do it tomorrow.
That sentence has been single-handedly responsible for my years spent as a smoker, my lack of quality time at the gym, and the fact that I still do not have a driver's license with my new address on it, even though I've lived in my apartment for almost a year. There are numerous other examples that I could quote right now, although I think one of my finer moments was the final paper for my Methods of Behavioural Change course in university. We were required to choose one of our own bad habits that we wanted to change, devise a behaviour modification plan, implement it, and write up a final report on our successes or failures. Being foolishly optimistic about changing a habit that I had basically brought with me into the world (I showed up at least two weeks late to MY OWN BIRTH, and even then couldn't be bothered to be born until the doctors said "forget this" and did a c-section to come in and get me) I chose 'Procrastinating' as the bad habit I was going to help myself break. I drew up a fabulous calendar with the various tasks I was required to do each day colour-coded and penciled in at various times. I worked out a reinforcement schedule that allowed me to slowly work up to my ultimate goal, which was essentially to stop going to the bar instead of doing my homework. The first two or three days I proudly checked off all the items I had accomplished, and by the fourth day I decided I had earned one of my rewards, which was going out to the bar. This likely would have worked except that after a week or so I clued into the awesome fact that I didn't actually NEED to wait until I had accomplished 75% of the tasks on my list before rewarding myself. I COULD JUST GO TO THE BAR RIGHT NOW!!!! (I'm sure you know where this is going, but I'm going to tell you anyway). Finally the day before the final report is due rolls around and I realize suddenly that not only have I put off writing the paper, but I didn't actually get around to implementing the plan. And so, at the eleventh hour (it was literally the eleventh hour, it was 11 p.m. when I started writing. Or I guess technically that would be the 23rd hour. Whatever.) I sit down in front of my computer and start trying to figure out how I'm going to explain that I didn't actually change my procrastinating behaviour because I didn't ever get around to doing it. The irony of waiting until the last minute to write my paper about how I didn't want to procrastinate anymore was not lost on me. Anyway, I got an A-. So there.
Although procrastinating has caused me some stress over the years, mainly in relation to school work, it has also helped me develop some other very important skills. Skills such as: being able to alphabetize CD's by artist, or books by author AND title. I am also quite adept at colour coordinating my closet, spontaneously creating resource binders from every article I've ever printed out or received in class, and obtaining all-time high scores in Spider Solitaire. In fact, I'm procrastinating right now. I should be brushing my teeth and going to bed. Bah. I'll do it later.
Ultimately, I have decided to embrace my tendency to procrastinate, not as a character flaw, but as evidence of my superior ability to create/work/problem-solve under pressure. Procrastinating is sort of like challenging time to a contest, if you imagine that I say: "HEY TIME! YOU DON'T THINK THERE'S ENOUGH OF YOU FOR ME TO FINISH THIS PAPER/WORK ASSIGNMENT/SUITCASE PACKING BEFORE IT'S DUE/FRIDAY AFTERNOON/MY PLANE TAKES OFF? I'LL SHOW YOU!" Most of the time I win, except that time I missed my flight from Vancouver, but I'm blaming that mostly on my sister and traffic.
Anyway, the whole point of this blog post was supposed to be about my awesome Saturday that included things like babysitting the cutest kid ever at a lesbian soccer game, discussing the origins of the word 'djinn' with Dave, the guy who sells Outreach magazines on my street every day, finding out that the Tim Horton's down the street got randomly shot at at 5:30 am (I was just relieved that it wasn't the Starbucks next door), explaining to Rachel McAdams the process of voting for the TIFF People's Choice Award and providing her with a ballot on which to do so, and having the surreal experience of walking through downtown at midnight where they had spread fake snow for the set of Sundays at Tiffanys. But never mind that now. The moment has passed.
PS: Since I don't believe in not crediting others for the things I steal off the internet, I'd just like to point out that I did not make the picture at the top of this page. I stole it from http://visualambassador.com. I'm ok with procrastinating, but not with plagiarism. Always cite your sources, kids.
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