So I just got home from watching the Tony Awards with my friend Kelly, and the opening number was basically all about why if life were like theatre, it wouldn't suck so much. I enjoyed this, for many reasons. One, because it was being sung by Neil Patick Harris, who I would marry if a) he were straight, b) there were any chance in hell we would ever cross paths in life, and c) I believed in marriage, but I'm getting away from my main point here. Secondly, it rang true for me, because I've pretty much always believed that my life should be a musical. If you ask most people who know me, they might inform you, sarcastically or otherwise, that if you have to spend any length of time around me it sounds like my life already IS a musical, since the noise filter between my brain and my mouth tends to malfunction and I more often than not burst into song throughout the day. This is not my fault, because my brain has been affixed with a feature where any random sentence automatically reminds me of a song which I am immediately compelled to sing (see above re: broken noise filter). This habit of randomly breaking out into song is occasionally accompanied by periodically busting out a couple of dance moves, my favourite being tap, primarily because this also makes noise, and is therefore the most fun. At least, more fun for me. I have a sneaking suspicion this may just be more obnoxious for others. BUT......
This would all be wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy cooler if I actually had a CAST and pit orchestra to back me up. And a costume crew. Because lets face it. Cash is low right now. And my wardrobe sucks these days. So this is what I'm envisioning.....
I haven't quite worked out the title of the show yet.....Therapy the Musical? Not a big seller, I don't think. I'll have to work on that. There will definitely be a narrator. It'll basically be a guy who will put a voice to the running commentary that goes on in my head all day that is essentially internally narrating everything I'm doing ANYWAY. I'm assuming I'm not the only person that has this stream of consciousness business going on....which is why I'm admitting to it right now. This is common, right? Bueller....? Bueller...? Anyway, I've decided to hire Alan Cumming as my narrator, because he did such a fabulous job in that role in Reefer Madness, so he will follow me around all day, inserting his dry wit and sarcastic commentary here and there. It will be brilliant.
Musical style, I'm thinking '80s pop/rock, which means: costumes? 80's! The ensemble cast is going to be quite large, because I have big plans for the dance numbers, which will, of course, be plentiful. There's going to be a number called "Damn This Dufferin Bus!" which will involve a lot of awesome choreography on bus seats and some bus pole-dancing. (Genevieve, I see a role for you in this number, since we've already rehearsed this on the subway......)
Now, before you start thinking that the show is going to be all fluff and nonsense, I want you to know that it's going to have it's heavy, serious moments. There will be a political piece too, like the scene where a crowd of us storm city hall French Revolution/Bastille-style and force Rob Ford to admit that he is completely incompetent as mayor and agree to step down. That musical number will be called "Free of Ford" or something like that. It's all still in the early stages.
I really think I might be on to something here. And I really do think my life would be way awesomer (yeah that's right. That's a word. Look it up. It's in the urban dictionary.) if it was a musical.
UPDATE: I just realized something that is, sadly, going to be a problem. THERE AREN'T POLES ON BUSES. Duh. Well, fine. There will just have to be 2 TTC musical numbers, because there clearly needs to be pole-dancing in this show. So a subway routine it is. Maybe one called: "Please Stand Clear of Doors".....or "Mind the Gap"......
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